blonde_angel499's Journal

7:05pm: Heya
Hey everybody how has everybody been?...I haven't been on in such a long time..feels like 4ever..anyways..anybody got aim, yahoo or msn?...If so add me

aim:fmbplaya143
yahoo:almost_legal162000
msn:simplyblond125@hotmail.com

Anyways lets see..Oh my cousin jesse hung himself on wednesday he lived in cadillac...its been really sad around my house lately, and everytime we hear the song played at the funeral we cry...I know we'll get over it, but its sad for right now, especially with the fcat that he was only 12..but yea, so I had a long road trip well 2 1/2 hr road trip to Cadillac and back with in a day, so yea..thats basically what I have been up to lately..feel free to comment or add me on any messanger ok and my myspace link is 41518810
Buh bye Xo*Brittany*oX

9:01am: I'm in love/and need advice
Hey guys wuts up?
I am in love and I need some advice..There is this guy that makes me feel good and makes me smile...he's great!!
Its my moms bestfrienmds son...and he's a lil older then me..but..my dad freaks out..b/c my dad thinks I have a crush on him..lil does he know..its more then a crush and the guy I like feels the same about me...if my dad ever found out he would kill both of us so wut do I do..I don't want to end our lil relationship..but I don't want my dad to find out...b/c it won't be pretty so give me some advice plz!! k bye

9:55am: Anna Marie Pearl Heskcott
HEY I KNOW I JUAT WROTE BUT MY COUZIN HAD A BABY ON AUGUST 30TH 2005 AND 12:51 AM HER NAME IS ANNA MARIE PEARL HESKCOTT, I HATE THE NAME BUT LOVE THE LIL GURLY SHE'S SO CUTE..SHE WAS 7 POUNDS AND 8.4 OUNCES SHE IS 19 INCHES LONG..AND SHE HAS THE CHUBBIEST LIL CHEEKS EVER:OMG!! SHE'S ADORABLE!!

~~*Brittany*~~

9:42am: Just been bored
Hey wuts up evrbody!!
I haven't been on in a long long time.I know
I have been so bored lately..
The past three days I have been sleeping in a little tent in the freezing cold..and yea...my perverted azz grandfather was here from Atlanta..
So...wut has evrybody been up to??
HAVE A GOOD LABOR DAY!! BUH BYE

8:31pm: Why?
Why does everyone expect so much of me.
I'm not truley an angel.
Deep inside I'm exploding, frustrated, in pain, can't do what I want, can't flaunt what I've got.
I'm exected to graduate, get a job, go to college, be filled with knowledge, but have you ever wondered what I wanted?
I don't want to follow in your footsteps I want to be my own person.
Open your eyes realize, don't despise me because I'm right.
Why have eyes? Everything I see is not my sight.
I lay here thinking, staring without blinking.
I am done.
Fuck it!
Why care, I can't live my life I mine as well end it.
Goodnight world.
We won't talk again.
I know to everyone what I am about to do is a sin.
But in my eyes, its a way of being free.
So let me be......

9:25am: Hey what's up
hey everybody what's up, I haven't wrote in a while, but thats because I was busy!
My family is down here from up north michigan, for my cousin Aarons Birthday.
Its cool 'n' all that good stuff!!
Me and my cousin are going on a cruise to the bahamas this summer!!:)
With our grandparents!!
Its going to be so much fun, we are going on Carnival Glory, that's the name of the ship were going on!
It's great man!!
But right now I'm so bored right now, there is nothing to do.
But just sit here and write on this.I was going to go to the mall but, its closed now so there's not a thing to do, but be bored!
Anybody else bored write me!!
Talk to you later
Love all
~~Brittany!~~

4:37am: Why?
Why does every boy think they can play you?
Take your heart and break it, step on it and spit on it!!
Light a fire on it..no more kisses goodnight. Now more tough boyfriend to hold me tight.
Mom and Dad was right, love hurts, I'll get my heart broken,
I loved him a lot!! But he cheated on me, I need the strength to be strong, the pain this boy left
is staying too long.
he was my best friend...I loved him dearly, things didn't turn out clearly.
Now I try and fight o let go but the memory of him in my heart I still hold.
I am feeling cold, when he wrapped his arms around me I felt safe, we would laugh, I would cry, he would give me a hug say how much I was loved by him.
Thank you boy, for holdin me greatly, but why did you take my heart for granted?

1:07pm: Water splashing on my feet,feeling desperate because the heat.
I can hear the ocean waves,as I lay there sand covers my legs.
with you lying next to me I finally feel comfort.
my heart no longer hurts.
You hold me in your arms, protecting me from all harm.
Then you kiss me on the lips, I feel like I'm in bliss.
Floating on a cloud up high, you will be right there by myside.
Holding your hand as I smile with pride.
Thinking No one could break our love if they tried.
This time I'm in heaven and I don't hurt like hell.
For you I'de lay my life on the line, for you I would die.
Looking in your eyes,I see all you have to give.
I see me with you in a life I could live.
We don't have to have it all.
No money...don't matter...we have eachother, forever and always.

12:27pm: heartache
Trying hard not to cry.
just keep asking everyone why?
no one listens they all lie...telling me shh.. goodbye
open your eyes. see my pain.
Understand this is not a game.
I should'nt feel this shame,
I'm not the one to blame.
Its not my fault I came in this world, as YOUR little girl.
As my thoughts start to twirl my head is spinning. Thier love I am not winning.
Being who I am is sinning to them.
Time is going by, I sit and I sigh... not yet will I cry.
My heart is broken gone and dead.
This life I wish that I could flee...plee with them to tell me why.
I think they all want me to die.
Night is coming. Sun goes down..I'm still sitting with a frown.
Tears start flowing, heartache growing.
Remain unhappy.
Lies around me cover me up.
suffocate me painfully, I let out a muffled scream.
Then I wake up rapidly and see its justa dream.
But my life as it seems, will always be the same.
No one came, no one loves me...no one will ever just be here to hug me.

9:33am: Thinking(poem)
Lying in my bed, thoughts running through my head.
wishing I was dead.
Blood no longer red.
thinking of what you said.
I'm not worth it its no use.You hate me.
Give up on me.
I should just leave, and never come back.
Lack of love and feeling.
Sick and tired of dealing with this shit.
now no longer laying I sit up and I think.
serenity and the need to need you.
don't bite the hand that feeds you, you say.
Then why bite the hand you feed.
cure my heart.
mend it now.
make a promise,make a vow.
I'm sorry mom I'm sorry Dad.
Must you really treat me this bad.
Your all I had you're all I have.
Good night now, as I fall asleep thinking how

1:33pm: hurting
hurting with anger and sadness all night
all of this pain I try to fight.
Grabbing a blade seems all right.
I press it against my vain.
I start to bleed.
feeling relieved, but still confused.
why am i here?
Why am I alive.
There is no purpose.
Be alive to hurt?
This blade isn't working i thrust it with anger.
why must I feel like a starnger to all I've loved.
I hate everyone.
Go to hell I scream.
Grab a knife now with more strength I dig deep into my wrist.
Bleeding more
Feeling dizzy, head drops down.
heart no longer makes a sound.
can't hear anything but I can still see.
People crying as I lie there dying.
then all of the sudden the sight goes away it starts to get dark.
Now no longer will this broken heart hurt...

1:24pm: What up ppl?
C'mon sumbody talk to me on here plz!!
What everybody up to?
Nm here jut bored as hell lookin for sumthing to do bu no luck yet,
so...talk!!

1:28am: sitting alone in the night, the sound of nothing is not allright.
Feeling desperate,wanting more.
Parents and family closed the door.No more love for me from them, what should I do to make this right again?
Why am I so alone?
with all the love I've shown,now you
hate me because I'm grown?!
But still I continue to be alone.
Making mistakes left and right
no more can I sleep through the night
until morning comes I have nothing to do,
hopeing and praying someone would say
"I love you"

Here's a poem I wrote I entered it in a contest...but I wanna know what ya'll think of it...so comment it.


Bye: